TK

This moment is the very definition of mixed emotions. I’ve just booked the final part of this leg of my travels — including the flight that gets me home. At least it gets me to one of the places I call home, Montreal. From there it’ll be a short trip back to Seattle.

Let me describe the mix.

First, I’m frustrated by the psychological-experiment-like Internet flakiness at this café up the road from my ideologically Internet-free bungalow in Amed, Bali. Annoyed by Air Canada’s insanely fragile web site.

I’m awed by the clouds over the confluence of the Indian and Pacific Oceans in this post-sunset gloaming. Sad and wistful that the end of these travels is now in sight, despite the fact that I’ve 10 more days in Bali, followed by two weeks in Cambodia to fill with amazing new experiences.

There’s a bit of fear too. Fear that I’ll get sucked back into the need to make money too soon. These travels feel like real life now, more than my past life which feels like a dream. I fear that they’ll swap places again, and travel will become just a dream.

But I’m also happy. Very happy to see my family and friends after so long. Intrigued by the changes I’ll find when I do. Changes in both beloved people and places and changes in me that will be revealed by seeing the familiar through new eyes.

Finally I’m excited by the chance to settle my citizenship and plan the next leg of my adventures, wherever they’ll take me…

Mixed emotions indeed.